Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and I intended to post a blog that day, but due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to follow through. Nonetheless, I want to make the post anyway. Choosing not to do so would just be an excuse to continue procrastinating, and nothing would get done. As the old adage says, better late than never.

Valentine’s is associated with love, and as such, I felt like this would be a good time to discuss the Five Love Languages. But more specifically, I wanted to discuss the ways in which they may apply differently to neurodivergent brains.

The love languages were introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992. He was a marriage counselor, so they were presented with specific regard to marital relationships, however, they can be applied to any relationship as, at their most basic level, what they are is a guide to figuring out the ways that we are more likely to show affection, as well as telling which ways we are most likely to feel valued by other people.

Some people put a lot of stock into this idea, similar to how some believe that the Meyer’s-Briggs is the be-all-to-end-all of personality assessments. (It’s not, but I can save that for another blog). The thing to remember is that as individuals, we are all very nuanced, and though we tend to fall under certain categories, whether it be words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, or receiving gifts– I maintain that typically no one falls under a single category, and typically these categories bleed into each other so sometimes what looks like a particular love language could actually be classified as another. I want to take multiple days to explore this idea, so please stick around as I discuss each language and how they may look to a neurodivergent brain.