Many times when I take my kids to the park, there seems to be at least one parent there who is a little overinvolved with what their child is doing.

“Get down from there, it’s too high.” or “Don’t go out of this area.” Are common phrases I hear.

And I used to be one of these parents. With my oldest, I was constantly trying to ensure that what he was doing, wherever he was doing it, was safe.

But as I increased the number of children I had in my care, the more I realized that trying to keep everything safe for them all the time was an impossible feat. Especially after having my third– a child who learned how to climb to the top of the baby gate by the time she was a year old– regardless of how I tried to prevent it. I felt really terrible about this until I learned that risky play is actually really healthy for kids and an important part of their development.

And it has been really uncomfortable, but the more I practiced allowing my kids to do things that I knew weren’t safe, the easier it got.

Risky play not only includes going too high on the playground equipment (or the baby gate) and exploring farther off than you would like, but also play fighting, tree climbing, and sledding downhill as well as many other behaviors that children may wish to participate in that parents may rather not. There are a number of studies that show that risky play increases not only confidence in children, but also balance, increased activity, and better decision-making and social skills.

My oldest was very timid around playground equipment for a long time. He still is, occasionally. But my youngest, there’s nothing that can stop her. If she wants to get to the top, she can and she will, and often she can do it without help.