For a long time, ADHD was thought of as something that affected primarily boys. Boys are three times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls, but does this mean that boys are more likely to have ADHD than girls? Not at all. More studies are showing that the number of girls with ADHD is actually probably about equal to the number of boys, but girls are more likely to fall through the cracks, as they often don’t show the typical symptoms associated with ADHD. More and more, women are getting diagnosed with ADHD in their twenties, thirties, forties, and sometimes even later. Which many of them say has answered a lot of questions for them about why they always felt different from their peers or felt like they couldn’t do the things that seemed to come very easily to other women and girls.

So why is it so much more difficult to identify ADHD in girls than it is in boys? First of all, girls are more likely to have the primarily inattentive form of ADHD, which is the more daydreamy, “space cadet,” inside your head form of ADHD. The hyperactivity in this form is the mind constantly at work, very busy– you may have heard the analogy of having 50 browser tabs open all at the same time. But because the hyperactivity isn’t expressed outwardly, it often gets overlooked. Even boys with the inattentive form of ADHD are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than their outwardly hyperactive counterparts.

Not only do the symptoms not look the same, but also, girls become very good at masking what symptoms they do have very quickly because of the need to ‘fit in’ and have friends, so the symptoms may also be less recognizable for that reason. Girls with ADHD may even be fairly good students just because of their desire to try hard to fit in and to do well.

Even when the symptoms are more typical of what people think of when they think of ADHD, a girl’s symptoms will be written off as something else. If she IS hyperactive, she will more likely be seen as a tomboy. If she has difficulty regulating emotions, she will be seen as overly sensitive. Basically, her symptoms will more likely be seen as quirky aspects of her personality rather than symptoms.

Often, the girl with ADHD will likely be treated for something else before their ADHD is even diagnosed. Girls with ADHD are likely to develop depression and/or anxiety later on down the road, and often these will be the first things caught, despite that they were caused by lack of needed support due to undiagnosed ADHD. Often, this results in more questions than answers, because though medication for depression or anxiety may help the ADHD somewhat (Welbutrin has been known to decrease symptoms of ADHD as well as depression) it may not be the right type of medication that you need for your ADHD, and then you will be categorized as having depression or anxiety which is “resistant to treatment.” In my experience, “resistant to treatment” seems like a code for “there is an underlying cause,” because once a root issue is found that could explain the depression or anxiety, and that root cause is treated, the depression or the anxiety tends to decrease or sometimes go away entirely all by itself. Of course, I am not a doctor, and hopefully, you know that by now.

So here are a handful of things to look for that could potentially be signs of ADHD in girls: if they seem withdrawn or are often caught daydreaming; if they are easily distracted; if they seem to struggle with hearing despite that they have had their hearing tested and it seems to be fine, or if they seem like they would rather talk than listen; if they are overemotional, whether that means crying a lot or they seem to get angry at the drop of a hat; if they have difficulty starting and/or completing tasks; if they are unnusually forgetful; if they have poor time management and difficulty prioritizing; if they have difficulty with organizational skills (this is easy to tell if you look inside their bedroom or–in my case– their house; these may be indicators that a girl has ADHD and it might be a good idea to get them tested because, although there is no ‘cure’ for ADHD, you can find a lot in the way of support, behavior management coaching, and medication than you would be able to find by ignoring these signs.

I am sad that a lot of women had to spend their childhood feeling like something was wrong or missing or they just weren’t getting support that they didn’t know they needed, but I am glad that these women are now getting diagnosed as adults, and in the future, I hope that we will better learn how to detect ADHD in girls so that they can get the support they need at a much earlier age.